


Mosaic broken hearts

by anotherouatwriter



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Arranged Marriage, Endgame Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, F/F, The Enchanted Forest (Once Upon a Time), Young Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Young Emma Swan, based on a tweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherouatwriter/pseuds/anotherouatwriter
Summary: The royal marriage between Princess Emma and Lady Regina, was arranged by their parents as a political move that favoured everyone... except Princess Emma and Lady Regina.Swan Queen arranged married AU.Based on a tweet.
Relationships: Daniel Colter/Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 70
Kudos: 135





	1. (Oh, goddamn) My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loubie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loubie/gifts).



> Based on a tweet by clairesmeraldo / loubie
> 
> "slow burn swan queen arranged marriage au where Emma’s the one who fall for Regina first. Daniel is not dead here and Regina sneaks out almost every day to see him. Emma tells her parents that everything’s ok and she and Regina have consummated their marriage even if Regina looked terrified as hell that night of their wedding that Emma just smiled at her and said “we don’t have to do anything. we can tell them we have done it but I don’t want you to do anything you re not comforable with. Rest, Regina. I’ll be in the next room”.  
> Emma had fallen deeply for her that when she finds out Regina’s in love with someone else, she knows she has to let Regina go."
> 
> This story hasn't been beta-ed.
> 
> And yes, the titles are (again) based on Taylor Swift songs because I'm a shameless Swiftie slut and lack imagination.

✧

“Oh, you’re leaving,” Emma points out as she sees Regina with a foot already on the secret passage that connects their room to outside of the castle.

Emma had showed it to her when they first got married, as a way for Regina be free and not feel trapped all the time. Back then, she never would have suspected that Regina would be using it to meet up with the so called love of her life while leaving Emma alone in their bedroom.

“Yes, we planned on watching the fireflies tonight,” in her defence, Regina sounds almost guilty. _Almost_. Emma supposes she could call it progress, specially when she remembers the hums and the cold one word replies she used to get at the beginning. “What do you have there?” Regina asks softly, looking at something Emma had in her hand.

“Nothing of importance,” the blonde lies and smoothly hides it behind her back.

“ _Emma_ ,”

“I said it’s nothing,” she snaps, without really meaning to. Truth was she had made something for Regina. It felt stupid giving it to her now, before she was off to meet _him_ , “Well, run along, then. I’m sure Daniel is waiting for you,”

Emma doesn’t say it in a mean tone, but mentioning the name of Regina’s lover brings her back to their reality. The one where they were forced to marry at eighteen. The one where Emma pretends she spends time with Regina while Regina is actually away enjoying her illicit affair. The one were Emma's heart breaks every time Regina mentions his name with sparks on her eyes. 

It isn’t until after Regina disappears into the tunnel, and the tapestry that covers the entrance stops dancing, that Emma lets out the breath she was holding. Pain fills her lungs instead. She looks at the item she was going to gift to Regina. It was a handkerchief she had embroidered herself, the drawing of a swan with a small crown on top on one corner and their initials “R&E” at the opposite one.

“Stupid,” she mutters, as she crumbles the thin piece of fabric in her hand and walks towards her desk. “Stupid,” the blonde repeats, throws the wrinkled handkerchief inside a drawer and slams the drawer. What did she expect? For Regina to be swoon over a piece of handmade garbage?

As Emma undresses and prepares to bed she remembers their first night together. Right after the wedding.

Regina had looked sick, her usually tanned skin taking a whitish-green tone. “We don’t have to do anything, Regina,” Emma had sighed as she took a pillow under her arm and wrapped herself with a blanked, “We can tell them we have done it but I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” she says almost in a whisper. “Rest, Regina. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

It took weeks of sleeping in the couch before Regina invited Emma to sleep in the bed, with a wall of pillows between them, because she still didn’t trust Emma. But it beat waking up at the crack of dawn and place the pillow and blanket on their bed to avoid racing suspicion among the maids, so Emma took it.

Their relationship had change other the year they have been married. Well, mostly on Regina’s side. At the beginning, Regina couldn’t stand Emma being next to her, now she at least pretends to be happy for the sake of their image. Also, Regina had started talking to Emma, not much but enough for Emma to know about some things about her wife, about her childhood, her love for horses and of course, _Daniel_.

But Emma, Emma had fallen in love with Regina the second she saw her. When Henry and Cora Mills had come to sign their marriage agreement. She knew Regina didn't like her back then, but Emma hoped that with time Regina would have a change of heart. So she gave her time, and space. The change of heart never came. Instead Regina fell deeper and deeper in love with Daniel and Emma could only sit and hope her feelings go away as she watches their love story develop. By theirs, she means Regina and Daniel's. 

Emma groans into her pillow. Fucking Daniel. She turns around and lays on her back, starring at the ceiling. She doesn’t know how long she stays like that, she’s used to this by now. Sleep never comes to her, not until after Regina is back and she knows her wife is safe. But even then, she closes her eyes and pretends to be asleep, pretends she doesn’t feel the dip as Regina lays next to her, pretends she doesn’t smell the hay and his cologne on her.

Some nights, Emma has to turn to a side and open her eyes to look at the stars that shine through the window, to try to win a fight against her feelings. She losing the war, she notices, as silent tears run down her cheeks.

Today is one of those nights.


	2. Love slipped beyond your reaches

✧✧

Emma wakes up to the sound of someone vomiting. She presses a hand to her eyes as she tries to fight a massive headache, the telltale of crying herself to sleep. It was starting to become a common occurrence. 

“Uh, Regina…” Emma asks in a raspy voice. "Are you alright?” 

“Peachy,” Regina snaps and then she retches again into the bowel they use to put their discarded towels. 

Emma is on her feet and walking towards Regina as soon as she hears the second round, “Did you eat something yesterday while you… you know?” she places a hand on Regina’s back and rubs her gently. After Regina is done emptying her stomach, Emma hands her the clean towel that hangs next to their basin. 

“No, I just had dinner with you.” her voice shakes from the exhaustion. 

“I’ll go get Gretel,” Emma proposes, as she hands Regina a glass with water for her to rinse her mouth, “and ask for more water,” the blonde adds as she opens the curtains, the smell in the room is getting too strong. 

So, Regina didn’t eat with Daniel. She tries not to think _what_ they were doing, instead she busies with the possible causes of Regina’s sickness. Food poisoning was not an option since Emma was feeling alright. Maybe a disease? She heard some of the townspeople were getting sick and while they were not allowed into the town until the situation got better, Regina was always with Daniel and who knows where and with whom he lives. 

Emma leaves her sick wife in the room and runs down the long hallways and dark stairs towards the kitchen. She finds Gretel having breakfast with most of the Castle's staff. After the princess apologises for interrupting their free time, she explains what’s going on. She doesn't know what reaction she'd be expecting from them, but it's definitely not smiles and claps. 

“Congratulations, your royal highness,” Gretel says and they all bow to her. 

Emma looks at them confused. Why are they happy about Regina being sick? 

“Her royal highness Regina hasn’t bleed in three months,” Gretel explains softly. 

_Oh_ . It all comes crashing down. Regina is pregnant. Regina is carrying _his_ baby. And everyone will think it's Emma’s because her parents had bought fertility potions to help them conceive and Emma had been drinking them regularly as part of their charade. 

How could Regina be so careless? 

She can feel the world spinning around her. The faces that surround her are getting blurry and their voices are distorted. She tries to hold onto something but whatever she managed to grab ends up clashing against the floor. 

And suddenly, everything is black and silent. 

When Emma comes back to herself, she’s laying on the floor with her head resting on someone’s lap. It’s Ruby’s, she realises as her sight adjusts to her surroundings. Neal is sitting next to her. They both are smiling at her, although Emma has seen enough of Ruby’s smiles to know this one is a fake one. 

“It’s alright, I reacted the same when Tamara told me about our first child,” he chuckles. 

“Regina?” she asks in a raspy voice, because of course the brunette is the first thing that pops into her mind after coming back to her senses. 

“Gretel went to aid her,” Ruby explains and helps Emma sit, “Here, Granny’s chocolate milk. Just how you like it,”

Ruby had lived in the castle almost as long as Emma had. Being the granddaughter of the master chef and the daughter of the Queen’s favorite housekeeper, Ruby had been born in the castle, a few months before Emma. They had grown up together, often receiving equal treatment from the Queen, the housekeeper and Granny. Ruby had been forced to receive Emma’s education and when the time came was awarded a title and made Emma’s Lady-in-waiting. 

“Thanks,” she takes a sip, “Neal, would you mind leaving us alone?”

Neal nods and stands up, he knows Emma’s is being polite, as the heir to the crown she doesn't even have to ask. 

Once he’s out of hearing range, Ruby drops the act, her smile turning into a thin line “Please, tell me it’s not what I’m thinking,” they are alone, but Ruby still talks in a low tone, afraid someone will hear them.

“I don’t know. Are you thinking that I’m stupid enough to let my wife meet her lover in secret and eventually have to face the reality that he got her pregnant?” 

“Emma!” it’s a whisper, but it sounds like a yell. “You told me it had stopped months ago! I told you it was a bad idea,” 

“I know! I know, alright?” 

“What are you going to do?” 

“Pray that the child has her eyes and has my trademark blonde hair,” Emma answers, she's starting to feel sick. She never asked how Daniel looked like, but she hoped he didn’t have any exotic features that would make obvious that the child was not hers. 

“Wait, you’re letting her keep it?”

“Yes, Ruby.” Emma rolls her eyes, “If she wants the baby, I won’t ask her to get rid of it. I already took enough from her.” 

They have discussed this already. Emma feeling guilty for their marriage even though either Emma or Regina had a say on it. But, Emma needed a spouse and an heir and Regina was available and therefore, Emma felt it was her fault. 

“You really love her, don’t you?” Ruby looks at her with piercing eyes, Emma just shrugs “Have you told her?” 

The blonde looks away, “It doesn’t matter now, does it?”


	3. So much for saying "us" ('Cause you weren't mine to lose)

✧✧✧

Emma doesn’t return to their room that day, or any day in the following month. She can’t face Regina, can’t see her stomach growing and being reminded that the brunette is not, and will never be, hers. 

Instead she opts to go on an improvised trip with Ruby. They choose small taverns on the outskirts of the kingdom, where it was less likely for someone to recognize Emma. Her parents had sent scouts throughout the kingdom to find her, so they had to keep on moving. They never stay in the same place more than two nights in a row and they are starting to run out of places to go. 

“When did life become so fucked up?” Emma whines into her mug. 

"When your parents arranged your marriage.” 

“I can’t believe they did that.” Emma complains and slams the mug against the table, earning curious looks from the other patrons “They get to have their epic true love story, but they marry me to the highest bidder.” 

“True love doesn’t help running a kingdom,” Ruby shrugs because hours of tutoring had shown them how to run a kingdom. 

“Then, they should have married me to you,” the blonde mutters. Because she doubts Regina has any idea, or interest, on helping her run the kingdom. Ruby, on the other hand, had always been involved on Emma’s plans for her future.

“Now, I know you definitely had too much to drink,” Ruby laughs at her friend, “I might be a lady-in-waiting now, but I am below your status,” 

“You know I wouldn’t care,”

“I know, but the kingdom wouldn’t approve. Regina comes from one of the wealthiest families in the kingdom, it makes sense you two are married.” Ruby places two silver coins to pay for their drinks and helps Emma up, “common, is time to take you home,” 

“No...” Emma protests, “I can’t see her,” 

“She’s your wife, carrying _your_ child,” Ruby puts emphasis on the pronoun, “sooner or later you’ll have to get used to it. Besides, people are starting to talk about your absence,” 

Of course people are talking. Emma can’t judge them, they had left the castle the day that they found out Regina was pregnant. She didn’t even come up with an excuse, she just told Ruby she needed to get out. And Ruby, always the best friend someone could have, grabbed a bag of coins and saddled two horses for them. In the following month, Emma hadn’t even contacted her parents. Emma and Ruby just disappeared, they knew the consequences to their acts, but Emma was asphyxiating and Ruby knew she needed some air. 

It’s a two day ride to the castle, and somehow it feels too short for Emma’s liking. The scouts find them a few miles away from the castle and escort them back home. They reach the castle past midnight. Her father, the King, is the only one waiting for them. He looks at them, disappointment written all over his face and thanks the scouts. 

Ruby is dismissed almost instantly, she’d have to face her mother’s consequences. Emma stays with her father until everyone else has left. They wait in silence until they are alone, Emma feels like a child under her father’s gaze. While Emma’s relationship with her mother has always been less than ideal, she has always looked up to her father. 

“Your mother will be pleased to hear you decided to grace us with your presence. We’ll talk tomorrow.” 

And Emma knows better than to come up with a reply, to provide an explanation. Anything she says will just be used against her tomorrow. She nods and wishes him goodnight. 

She climbs the stairs slowly, there is something about the castle being completely still and silent during nights that has always calmed Emma down. She stops in front of her door and takes a deep breath. Hopefully Regina is asleep and she doesn’t have to deal with her until tomorrow.

The question “Where the _hell_ were you?” in an accusatory tone is her warm welcome home. 

And it really shouldn’t annoy Emma because she _has_ been missing for almost 30 nights. But it does because she had never asked Regina anything about her whereabouts when she leaves every night with Daniel. 

“With Ruby,” Emma says, then after noticing Regina’s hands laying against her protruding stomach she adds, _“watching the fireflies_ ,” she’s being unfair, but she’s hurting and she wants to hurt Regina in return.

“I’ve been enduring you mother for a month,” Regina pokes Emma several times with one of her skinny fingers, “I’ve been putting a smile and thanking for the presents for our baby -,”

She’s interrupted by Emma’s laugh and Regina has the gall to look offended, “Are you hearing yourself?” she swats Regina’s hand away, “ _Our_ baby?” 

“Whether we like it or not, it is our baby _to the rest of the kingdom_.” Regina speaks the last words slowly, as if Emma is stupid enough to understand the sitution, “So yes, Emma. Our baby. And your mother has been maddening with all the gushing and planning, and the name lists. And I have been enduring all of that _alone_. While you are out trolloping with Ruby,” the brunette spits the name as if it was venom. 

It almost sounds as if she’s jealous, hurt that Emma spends time with someone else that’s not her. _Good_. 

“Well, excuse me for needing some time to process the fact that I’ll be raising the child of my wife’s lover. How selfish of me.” 

Her words soften the scowl on Regina’s face “You could have talked to me. We could have figured this out together,”

“ _We_ … you mean you, Daniel and me? Like a happy family we will be?” Emma claps in mocking enthusiasm, it makes Regina groan.

“You're being unfair.”

“And you are being selfish!” she’s has never been this honest with Regina, she has always let Regina vent and complain about how hard her life is but she’s tired of pretending, of lying and of aching, “Have you ever stopped and think how I feel about all … this?” she waves her hand over Regina’s abdomen, “How this marriage, you and your affair influenced _my_ life?” 

“What’s wrong with you?” the brunette asks, confused about Emma is finally opening up to her “It’s not like you and I are in love,” 

And somehow that hurts more than the little bump in Regina’s abdomen. Emma sighs, there’s no point in having this discussion. Not when her feelings are one sided and Regina will never understand where Emma is coming from. She rubs her eyes before saying: “It’s late and I’m tired. Good night.” 

“I’m not done with this conversation,”

“But I am.” Emma says in the authoritative tone of a future queen, leaving no place for discussion. Then she turns her back to Regina and walks away. For the first time in months, takes her pillow and blanket and goes to occupy the couch where she used to sleep.

She makes a decision that night. She’s done with being hurt. 


	4. (Haunted by the look in my eyes) That would've loved you for a lifetime

✧✧✧✧

Regina tries to talk to Emma a couple of times after that night. But the blonde keeps avoiding her like the plague. If Regina is hurt by her attitude she doesn’t know, and frankly, she doesn’t care. The days following Emma’s return are dull and uneventful and Emma falls into the routine like a rock falls into the bottom of a well: drowning and unable to do anything about it. 

True to his word, David had called Emma first thing in the morning. They had a conversation that looked more like a monologue about the responsibilities of a Queen, wife and mother. And if Emma wouldn’t be so tired of being hurt and painted as the irresponsible one, she would have fought with him, instead she just nodded and agreed - she only wanted to get over with it and move on. 

Regina wasn’t lying when she said Emma’s mother was maddening. Emma realises that when she has to sit with her mother and Regina and pretend to care about names, cribs, toys, clothing for a fourth day in a row. Also, the nobles and peasants have started bringing presents for the expecting mother and the unborn heir and Emma has to sit on her throne and thank each one of them for their thoughtful present. 

Emma is also required to accompany Regina for her weekly doctor’s appointment, to document the weight gain and see if her belly is growing. Both women think it is unnecessary but none of them are willing to fight Snow White about it. 

The cherry on top was having Regina’s parents, Cora and Henry Mills, come to stay with them. She knew Cora was abusive, especially towards Regina. And Henry had never tried to protect Regina from his wife so Emma was not fond of him either. Plus, news of Emma leaving Regina for a month had reached their ears so it was not they were fans of Emma either.

The only thing keeping Emma from jumping from the castle’s highest tower was sword fighting. After she was done with her  _ motherly _ obligations, Emma was allowed to join her soldiers and train until her muscles would threaten to give up on her. The exercise would tired her to the point where she would just fall face first on the couch and sleep for hours until dinner time. 

She's about to reach her room's door when she hears voices from inside. 

“You’re carrying the child of a commoner,” Emma hears from the other side of the door. 

“I’m carrying Emma’s child.”

There’s silence, followed by a slap that makes Emma clench her fists tightly. She was planning to stay out of the conversation between Regina and her mother but she will not stand in the shadows and let Cora hurt Regina.

“Don’t lie to me,” Cora sounds calm even though Emma imagines she’s feeling anything but calm, “I feel Emma’s aura and I feel the baby’s aura. And they are not similar,” 

Before Cora can hurt Regina anymore, Emma enters the room pretending she didn’t hear what had happened seconds ago, “What’s going on here?” she asks as she feels the tension between the two brunettes.

“Nothing that concerns you.” Cora directs her anger to Emma now. 

“It is, when you are upsetting my pregnant wife.” the blonde puts emphasis on the three last words. 

“Before being your wife she was my daughter,” 

“And now she’s my wife. You’d do well to remember who you are talking to,” despite all her muscles complaining, Emma stands tall and puffs her chest out. 

The blonde oozes confidence and power, which is not a sight Regina sees often. Especially when they are together. Usually Emma is shy and timid and lets Regina set the pace to their interactions. And if Regina wouldn’t be so terrified about Emma standing up to her mother, she’d be amazed by how majestic Emma looks when she acts like the Queen she was born to be. 

“Emma...” Regina says in a warming tone. She had told Emma about her mother, about her magic, about her ways and discipline. Why is Emma being stupid enough to confront her? 

“I’m not afraid of your mother.” 

“You should,” Cora says and after inspecting Emma from head to toe and curling her lips in disgust at the state of Emma’s clothing, she leaves. 

Emma follows Cora with the sight, and it isn’t until after the door is shut that she expires. She wishes the absence of the older woman would calm her, but it doesn’t. She tries to busy her mind with other things.

“Did she hurt you?” she asks without looking at Regina. 

“You shouldn’t have antagonized my mother,” 

Emma seems unbothered “Did she hurt you?” she repeats as she peels the layers of her training armour and clothing. 

Regina shakes her head “She knows about the baby,” 

Emma sighs “Regina, she’s not going to say anything. Your mother agreed to our marriage because she wants the crown. There’s no way she’ll hurt her chance of climbing the ladder by exposing you or hurting your baby, alright?” 

Regina has noticed that in public Emma always refers to the baby as  _ ours _ , but never in private. Within their bedroom walls Emma never forgets this growing life inside of her is not Emma’s. To be honest, Regina doesn’t know what she wants from Emma. It’s unfair to expect anything. But still, she wishes Emma would love the child. 

She has seen Emma with Neal and Tamara’s children. The blonde has a special light in her eyes when she’s with them and selfishly she hopes that the relationship between her child and Emma would be like that. It hurts a little to imagine Emma treating her child differently, even though she knows she has no right to ask Emma to be a loving parent to a child that is a product of her affair. 

“I have a council meeting.” Emma breaks the silence as she dries her now clean face “are you going to be alright staying here on your own?” she asks, concern painting those green eyes. 

Sometimes, Regina wonders how her life would be if she would have allowed herself to love Emma. If she would have let go of Daniel and make the best out of the cards she has been given. Emma was a good person, and she cared for her. Maybe love would have come eventually. It’s too late now. She had destroyed any chance she had with Emma. 

“Regina?” Emma brings her back to reality. 

“I’m alright,” she lies. 

She hasn’t been alright in a long time. 

  
  
  



End file.
